"A team of silent ninjas broke in and stole all those worms you spent over a year trying to collect for your bullshit lantern! They stole them right out from the part of my ass where I keep them. They just dug in their with their dirty ninja hands and took all the worms and I have to admit I liked it. I liked it a lot. In fact, I’m going to stick my hand into my ass right after you leave. It might be covered in lamp oil and finely ground glass shards but that’s really just a bonus at this point. Have fun refreshing Moltara a hundred million times. If you need me I’ll be right here, with my hand inside of my bloody, dirty ass.”

- Lampwyck, Lampwyck’s Lights Fantastic